|  Author's program note. I was sitting in the barber shop the other day when I saw two beautiful television anchors discussing the little faux pas made by Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Michael S. Jeffries an acknowledged powerhouse in the business of making people, but only certain people, the cynosure of every eye. It is a scandal of international dimensions, with denizens of every catwalk and modeling agency following the story with the closest possible attention, since it is a story about them, and isn't that the way it's supposed to be, for a thing of beauty is a joy to everyone, right?
For the musical accompaniment to this story, I have chosen a catchy tune entitled "I'm Too Sexy" recorded in 1991 by a group curiously named Right Said Fred. Its gentle ribbing of the fashion industry was a superb dance number and topped the charts in 32 countries, including the USA. It made the group worldwide celebrities and garnered the prestigious Ivor Novello award. Go now to any search engine and be sure to be your most chic when listening; you never know who might be watching you... and you want to be absolutely picture perfect when you're discovered. From that moment on, after all, you're "so sexy it hurts..." "We go after the cool kids..." In 2006, Salon magazine ran one of its celebrated interviews this time with CEO Jeffries. These interviews almost always make for fun reading because the interviewer, while always purporting to be scrupulously fair and perfectly professional, actually aims to make news by getting the person being interviewed to be as indiscrete and unguarded as possible. Then, hey presto, Salon has what it wants... which is the subject's head... and hitherto unblemished reputation. Jeffries did his duty, by saying exactly what he thought about the mission of A & F, thereby planting a land mine for later explosion and shrapnel all around. This explosion has now taken place. Here, no doubt from the vestiges of what was once a heart, are the words he put forward with that unflinching conviction that insists the chips fall where they may. "In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not- so-cool kids. Candidly we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kids with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong /in our clothes/, and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely." Well, no one can clam that Jeffries wasn't clear and crisp in his bombastic remarks, he said what he meant and meant what he said. Or at least he appeared to do so. Since they appeared on the Internet, they have gone viral. Jeffries did what the rich and famous so often do when they blunder. They develop a bad case of amnesia and always and forever claim they were misquoted and that the damning comments were taken out of context. Now Jeffries may know a lot about beautiful folks, a veritable arbiter elegantiae, and what they should wear to accentuate the positive. By contrast, his relationship with the truth and accuracy of his statement is nodding at best. Thus, as his toxic sentiments took wing undoubtedly aided by a legion of the uncool kids of any age whose smoldering resentment toward cocksure Jeffries and A & F in general has now boiled over and become a very ugly problem, his ceo-ship did what those who only look like corporate leaders do... He hunkered down in his beautiful office (the inner sanctum of beautiful ideas and captivating notions) and... hid out... for days... saying nothing... relying on his many advisors to make it all better... a few winsome ganymedes at the ready to waft incense and soothing platitudes to their injured ruler and fashion high priest. Delicious... No doubt despite the tsunami of criticism, hurtful comments and hilarious quips, Jeffries continued to look splendid. It's what beautiful people do, whatever the circumstances... No plus sizes a corporate negative for A & F? Then worse struck! The "fat is beautiful" crowd decided to jump on this band wagon while the getting was good and chastise Jeffries for deliberately excluding women's XL and XXL sizes, eschewing the imperfect majority, to cater only and solely to the perfect (and fiercely aspiring) minority. Parbleu... the peasants were well and truly at the gate... ill proportioned and no doubt unwashed, barbarous in face and feature, bumptious and aggravating. NOKD, "Not our kind, dear!" Of course this adamant position cost A & F money but it preserved its high, exclusionary standards.... so important in our infuriating, slovenly days. Sadly, Jeffries has now learned just how costly these standards and their maintenance can be... and it hurts, as every no doubt carefully considered word in his most recent statement makes clear. "A & F is an asirational brand that, like most specialty brands, targets its marketing at a particular segment of customers. However, we care about the broader communities in which we operate and are strongly committed to diversity and inclusion." Excuse me if I appear a tad cynical about Mr. Jeffries and his carefully parsed rhetoric, but his remarks seem to smell of the lamp and endless corporate meetings with hot-shot consultants, decidedly lacking in credibility, much less a scintilla of sincerity. CEO Jeffries has a posse of full-figured gals at his perfectly proportioned heels. His words represent his handlers best efforts to shake 'em off. But these girls are serious. Witness the remarks of America's favorite (ex) barmaid, Kirstie Alley. Kirstie's Kommentary We all know Kirstie. Now 62, Kirstie's career, whether at the studio or at home, has centered on men, getting them, losing them... and fat, putting it on, taking it off, putting it on again. But Kirstie's also got a social conscience and it was roused to this eloquence by Jeffries' exclusionary policy.... "Abercrombie clothes are for people who are cool and look a certain way and are beautiful and are thin and blah, blah, blah, blah. That would make me never buy anything from Abercrombie." But there's more... "I've got two kids in that bracket, but they will never walk in those doors because of his view of people -- forget women, his view of just people." And here Kirstie put her finger on the real issue and cast a raking light on CEO Jeffries and his priorities. Let's look at the record. As reported in the Wikipedia, whose entry on A & F is well worth the read, since 1997 "the company has consistently kept a high-profile in the public eye, due to its involvement in legal conflicts over branding, clothing style and employment practices. The company has been accused of the sexualization of pre-teen girls by marketing thongs to 10-year-olds and padded bikini tops to 7-year-olds." On April 14, 2005, Judge Susan Illston of the the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California granted final approval to a settlement of Gonzalez v. Abercrombie & Fitch Stores. The settlement requires the company to pay $40 million to several thousand minority and female plaintiffs who charged the company with discrimination. There's more, lots more. Last year, for instance, former company pilot Michael Bustin, 55, in his age discrimination suit against A & F alleged that Jeffries required male crew members to wear the brand's boxer briefs. I wonder, how did Jeffries know his minions were complying? "Attention! Face forward! Drop trou!". The suit (now settled) also offered this telling vignette. According to the plaintiff, Jeffries mandated that the end squares of toilet paper be folded. Nice. No detail too small to achieve perfection... Jeffries' "non-apology" apology. Still, let's give the man yet another chance to re-capture the high ground. Here's what he said in an official statement released May 15, 2013. "I want to address some of my comments that have been circulating from a 2006 interview. While I believe this 7 year old, resurrected quote has been taken out of context, I sincerely regret that my choice of words was interpreted in a manner that has caused offense... We are completely opposed to any discrimination, bullying, derogatory characterizations or other anti-social behavior based on race, gender, body type or other individual characteristics." Let's be clear: this wasn't an apology, an admission of any wrong doing, or even an inkling that his ideas were hurtful to so many. In short, the man just doesn't get it. However at age 68, he probably never will. Thus, I have this idea for expediting his (admittedly late) growth and development. I propose that a photographer with the genius of Bruce Weber, the man who first shot the iconic A & F photos of semi-nude models with perfect physiques, be assigned to do a photo spread of the unclad Jeffries, every wrinkle and sagging muscle apparent; the results to be plastered on every Abercrombie and Fitch billboard everywhere on Earth. Then, I imagine, he will have a good idea of what happens when you're not a "cool kid", merely an average Joe who has never bought his togs at A & F, and after reading this article probably never will. Then put Jeffries on the catwalk and have him "shake his little touche" while working it to the catchy rhythm of Right Said Fred. It'll do him a world of good.... |
