| by Dr. Jeffrey Lant. Author's program note. All of a sudden there was a bone-chilling gust of frigid air right off the punishing Atlantic filling the night... it was the kind of gust we here in Cambridge call the Montreal Express... not merely cold but gelid, polar, arctic... than which there is nothing colder but the morning after the greatest love of your life said good-bye, this time for good. Shivering, I had to get up... present reality, even though freezing, being preferable to another minute of the dream being played out sharply in cinemascope in my brain. In it I was marrying Hillary Clinton, and we were redecorating my condo as our love nest after a cosmic flood. Yikes, it was indeed time for this article... and the music for it came swiftly out of no where saying, " I think you've been looking for me." And indeed I had... I was smiling.... this was how Marley (in clanking chains of course) summoned Scrooge to his destiny... and look what happened to them. I'm a literary gent, and I appreciated the reference... and this song by Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, born October 2 1951, known to the world by his sobriquet "Sting", a name, a description, a declaration, a clear statement of what you must do when the world is too much with you late and soon. Yes, that Sting. I don't think much about Sting. I'm not a rabid fan or anything close, but he's got the poet's own way of insinuating himself into my life at significant moments. His words are often mine fields, often verbal shrapnel, the kinds of words one fastidious word smith appreciates in another who like you demands respect for the language and mastery from himself. Cold reality. My hands are cold... my fingers are stiff. It is 3:25 a.m., and Sting and his lyrical insights, melodic, as deep as you want them to go, fill the crucial space between two ears. I am listening, because here is a man who has something important to say to me, about the year now past, about you and me, and how we're glad to be alive and give thanks to whoever made it possible. The song is called "Brand New Day" and I hadn't heard it since it debuted in 1999, just in time for the new millennium. I remember hearing this song in this very room, where I sat at this very desk in this very chair as I watched the clock move inexorably to the first midnight of the new century, the Y2K midnight that was supposed to bring cosmic computer chaos, so admonishing experts had told us. And so I, like so many others, worried myself into the new year, following the advent of midnight around the globe... only to discover that nothing happened anywhere... the biggest "same old, same old" ever. Yes, I was listening to this song that night. It couldn't really be so many years ago, could it? Go now and find it in any search engine and listen carefully.... "There's simply no immunity/There's no guarantee." 2012. I lived it. Which is to say I was alone, I was together, I made money. I squandered money. I lied. I deceived. I was cruel. I was affectionate. I made messes and ignored them. I cleaned up messes made by others who ignored them. I cursed. I adored. I slept the sleep of the just. I just barely slept at all. I did random good deeds... I insulted those who meant me well. I hugged strangers... and ignored those nearest and dearest. I ate too much cake... and told others they shouldn't eat cake at all, then ate theirs. I knew the bite of the flesh... I abjured God... then went in panicked search of Him all over again. I was magnificent. I was squalid. I was the best of friends and the most unrelenting and tenacious of foes. I demanded mercy and gave none. I wanted to make a difference and the difference I made was miniscule and negative. I ate without savor. I loved without passion and thought well of myself when there was not a single reason for so much conceit. I always took the easy way and had the temerity to tell others they must sacrifice when I would not. I took, always took, more than my share and bellowed that it was not more. I winked at injustice until I became an injustice. I hated. I condemned. I demeaned. I disdained. I hurt whenever possible and denied whenever feasible. I exulted in the misfortunes of others and laid the burden of mine at the feet of God Almighty whose name in vane passed often through my lips. I chose to misunderstand when understanding was facile... and blamed everyone but me on what was so readily apparent to others but willfully ignored by me. And yet I never lost the deep belief that I was a hero to others, a paragon to myself. I was all this and more, I did all this and more in the tiniest morsel of time we call one year ... as if it was something that could be neatly boxed and neatly understood. But even now this year, waning, its end in sight, abides... with possibilities still to come before it is played out, kaput, history we are glad to dispose of and forget, as if forgetting was even an option. It isn't. "Turn the clock all the way back." How many hours of 2012, how many hours of your life have you now wasted wishing you could regain even a single moment of time, to live it, savor it, even the most commonplace of activities? It is natural to think so for our system is profoundly exasperating... you lived that moment. It is yours. You want it back. You must have it back. And so you expostulate against your fate, the inevitability that defines us. You must go forward, only forward, never back no matter how badly you want it. and you know how badly that is. Right this minute, the sands of time are escaping through your open hands, hands you long to close and stop the inexorable... but you cannot close them. And so, you experience the pain of certain loss that defines each of us in a world that we live in, are destroying, but cannot stop and enjoy without anxiety. Each word you now read here takes you into a future that challenges us, a future we must engage whether we want to or not. We stand alone before eternity... and it frightens us to our very core. That is why next year, the year after that. and all the next years to come you will fail to stand tall and courageous before the vast immensity we call The Future and why instead we will take what comfort we can from what our species is most expert at doing: dissipation, distraction, diversion, self destruction. Only by such devices can we face that which most concerns us... and so we are profligate about the time which constitutes our essence. Sic semper gloria mundi. The only resolution that matters. At this moment of peril for each of us, all of us, for our planet and our Cosmos, for our very God, what are we offering to change our course and destiny? Some opt for trivial resolutions about increased exercise and ways to diminish pounds. Others still seize upon any one or two of a myriad of possibilities to improve themselves, all petit, inconsequential, trifling, insignificant. Is this the best we can do against the daunting, monumental challenges we face? We must do better. And what better time to begin than now as a new year signals the commencement of a brand new day? What then must we resolve and do? Just one thing: Love. For in this single thing there is everything and everyone. Where we dismissed and condemned... we must love. Where we demeaned and destroyed.... we must love. Where we insulted and hated... we must love. Where we divided and estranged.... we must love. And where we worked to rend asunder and alienate... we must love. " 'Love is pain,' I hear you say/Love has a cruel and bitter way of Paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain." But it's the only and certain way to start up the brand new day that dawns radiant this very day. |
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