| by Dr. Jeffrey Lant It wasn't supposed to end this way. John and Elizabeth Edwards had a plan.... and were entirely, happily focused on its achievement. Having failed to achieve the Democratic presidential nomination in 2004 (which didn't worry this effervescent pair one whit), their task was clear: persuade Massachusetts senator Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry that they (for then they were always a couple) were what he needed for victory. Then work relentlessly to move up.... a second vice presidential term in 2008.... then the heady joys of the 2012 Democratic presidential nomination... then, as they strode into their inaugural ball, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States and the First Lady, Elizabeth Edwards." Theirs was more than a plan... it was a reality so clear and certain they could taste it. In these days, Elizabeth Edwards did as she was told. Her task (unannounced of course) was nothing less than helping America swallow John Edwards, preparing the way for his all-but-certain coronation. Even in the early days, America was cautious about Edwards... he was too handsome, too glib, that Southern golden boy smile flashing too often, too automatically. We might be persuaded to like him... but we didn't entirely like him yet. Which was where Elizabeth Edwards came in. She we could identify with at once. Her smile was warm... her manner congenial, believable. People didn't know her then... but as they did, they liked her. While catty commentators purred that she looked like his mother, mothers everywhere thought: "if he could truly love this good woman of a few extra pounds, he was indeed a good man and worth a second look." It was a winning formula. But, it was threatened from its earliest days. John Edwards, you see, had the wandering eye... and Elizabeth now had cancer. Fate, the master of irony, was not such an easy thing as they had supposed. Now choices had to be made. Elizabeth needed constant treatment... John Edwards, in the time-tested behavior of men who did not stand by their gals, decided to give infidelity a whirl, with his own particular bedside manner. Why not? He was, after all, the golden boy... and Elizabeth would, he knew, stand by him whatever he did to her. Bit by bit the facts came out. Had the senator had an affair? No, he said, he had not. It was all a tissue of lies perpetrated by his political opponents. Are you sure, senator? Well, okay, I erred but just (he was adamant) for one night and the child being hawked as his own was... someone else's. Not his, so help me God. Are sure, senator? Well, okay, the affair was longer than I said... but, I swear, the child is not mine. Are you sure, senator? Well, okay, it is my child, sure as shooting. And what of Elizabeth Edwards? Struggling as she was with an illness getting more and more serious she had, at that exact moment, to confront the fact that her husband, the man she believed in, had lied to her and lied and lied again, always confident of the forgiveness that golden boys believe is theirs when their mates are plainer with extra pounds. There was here, as there always is, the whiff that she was lucky to have him, then flash that thousand-volt, always-winning smile, the one that makes friends and influences people. This time it didn't work... for, in Elizabeth Edwards, America was already aware of what she had that was so deeply lacking in her unrelentingly cynical and prevaricating mate. She was real, genuine, authentic, a woman confronting the failure of her body and her mate with self-control, dignity, and honesty. Thus, John Edwards learned the hard way that you cannot cheat on the woman you have lied to when that woman is in the process of becoming a saint. In her last Facebook session, Elizabeth Edwards said a graceful good-bye to her many friends worldwide, people whose lives her authentic behavior and courage had inspired: "I have been sustained throughout my life," she wrote "by three saving graces -- my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that." Thus, simply, Elizabeth Edwards ended a life of events spectacular and heart-rending. At the end, she was no longer defined as John Edward's wife, the designated junior partner. She had long ago surpassed him in importance and stature. It was she America looked to for inspiration, kindness and care. Scourged by the tragic death of her beloved first-born son, by the blatant betrayal of her mate, and by insistent, weakening health crises, Elizabeth Edwards showed us all how to grow while confronting issues which cripple and demoralize so many. In private, she no doubt gave way to doubt, pain, and that sickening feeling when one confronts the loss of life and love. But whatever her private demons, publicly Elizabeth Edwards moved towards her destiny with a manner invariably gracious and an unshakable message of inspiration and joy. Thus, at her deathbed, there was the feeling that a great lady was passing. Thousands worldwide stopped to inquire how she was... and to wonder at her unfailing generosity even at this penultimate moment. And what of John Edwards, now separated from the woman he had spurned and lied to? "A family friend said John Edwards was present." Did he flash his mega-watt smile, that now seemed so contrived? Did he whisper death-bed condolences to the woman he had insulted and who knew just what any of his words were worth? I think in the end, seeing for him a long life without any of his dreams achieved... or even an ability to dream at all; I think she smiled at him, knowing all, forgiving much, and held his hand for a moment, ready for an eternity she did not fear. |
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